personal thoughts uncensored. warning: ultra sentimental (?), repetitive, self-centered and uncomprehensible unless you're the worm in my stomach.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

名為生日的日子

好笑。
即使心裡沒有任何期望的人﹐原來也會失望的嗎?
似乎是從前的鬼魂作祟呢。

不過其實每年也是這樣的。即使是生日也好。。。她總是不會來。
因為跟新年碰上了。

我知道我不知足﹐即使家人都給我慶祝﹐鄰居都來了。。。
即使大家給我準備了2個蛋糕。。。
請容許我說。。。比起她。。。當時。。。那些東西。。。真的﹐
沒有多大意義。

我想﹐那些當然有些意義的。。。但是﹐
心裡有個形狀為郭XX的黑洞﹐始終無法。。。填補。

簡單的說吧。
謝謝各位的心意﹐但是﹐我真是什麼都感覺不到!!
我不是故意的﹐真的﹐我很對不起大家﹐因為我不是真心感激大家的心意!
但是我真的是什麼都感覺不到﹐我只是感到"為什麼不是她"的失落感﹔
即使。。。現在﹐就算是她﹐也已經沒有意義。。。

對不起﹐生日對我來說已經什麼意義也沒有。。。
從很多年前開始﹐就只是提醒我"她從來沒來過跟我慶祝"的日子。

對﹐我是個很喜歡撒嬌的人﹐即使撒嬌的對象已經不復存在﹐
我也還會繼續﹐因為她還是沒有回應。。。

我想要的﹐就只有她。。。為什麼她總是不能來。。。

好了﹐發夠瘋了。
反正現在即使她來﹐也已經沒有意義了。。。
我已經找不回那個埋在萬尺冰封下的心。

Sunday, January 29, 2006

=.= ... NANANDA SOREWA!!!!!

so i just updated my blog and clicked on the "Next Blog" button and just wanted to look at some random blog...

and this came up T__T

http://free-penis-enlarger.blogspot.com/

INteresting..................................

*is disturbed by her own LUCK*

(man, if only i HAD a penis =.=)

imi? aru desuka?

sometimes one can't help but think, is there a meaning in writing an online blog when no one is actually reading it. normally, i would wonder...
but for this one, i don't mind. partly because i made this intending to not let a lot of people read.
i didn't post the url for this blog anywhere (well, posted the link in another of my blogs that no one knows about XD) some people do know, but... it has to be ppl that i dont mind them reading. or i know they dont care. lol. meh.

so for this blog, it is still meaningful if no one ever comes and read (of course i'd like responses, but it's ok even if thre are none) cus... iono, i just write it for myself to read XD
it's like you'd still do some things even if you know no one will appreciate it, cus it is meaningful to yourself, more than anything else...

tho, for me, there's little things on earth that are... like that.

bah.